A Letter to Myself

Dear 9-year old Alex, you struggled in math and you chose to make a terrible mistake that you’re going to regret for the rest of your life. You’re smart and competent and you know way more information than you give yourself credit for. In 4th grade you learned multiplication and the use of times tables. How hard it all seems now but wait until you’re dealing with math mixed in with the alphabet as you go higher in your education. The math gets more hard and confusing and you struggle to pass with even a D. Simple math like long-division, multiplication, everything that you will wish you could be doing when you get to high school and college.

Multiplication is your weak point and you need to study hard and focus. Don’t be scared to ask your parents or teacher for help. Every week you had a test on the multiplication terms that you had learned that week. Oddly enough, you were able to pull off good grades on all of them even though you didn't quite understand most of them. 6x12, 5x4, how much easier can math get? Then comes the final test with a mix of all of the multiplication problems possible from 1-12. I know you felt unprepared, scared, and felt like you weren't going to do well, but you need to work on just doing your best and if you fail, then you fail. If you pass, then you pass.

You made a terrible decision that day that will always been in the back of your mind to taunt you. You disappointed yourself, your parents, and your 4th grade teacher that you looked up to the most. You had made the horrible decision to cheat on that math test and you got caught. Seeing the hurt and disappointed expression on your 4th grade teacher’s face will haunt you for as long as you can remember. He knew that you made a terrible decision but chose not to do anything further than to call your parents and tell them what happened. You cried the rest of the day at school and on your way home. You knew that when you got home you had to deal with your parents. You were upset for weeks and didn't want to even go to school. Just don’t cheat. Simple as that, Alex. You’re better and stronger than that. Cheating is never an option and it is just not worth the pain and the guilt. Your parents will tease you about it well into the future because they won't believe that you could even be capable of something like that and every time, it will feel like you’re being stabbed in the gut.

Never focus on the negative aspects in life, Alex. Don’t worry about failing a test. All you have to do is go home and put in a few hours of studying by yourself or with your parents. Make sure that you know the key concepts of whatever you may be learning in class. Pay attention to your teacher, take notes, and ask questions. I know you’re shy and very quiet but you need to speak up if you don’t understand something. It is so crucial for your education and you need to get over your shyness for the time being and talk to your teacher even if it may be in private. You never turned in a late assignment so not doing your homework was the problem. I know your parents have told you that you need to get straight A’s and nothing less, but you can’t let that run your life. Yes, getting straight A’s is an amazing goal and achievement to have but you just never steep so low as to cheat. Failing is actually a key to success. You try, you fail, you try, and fail, and soon down the line you’ll see that failing actually pays off when you put forth all the effort that you have in order to succeed in life.

You may have thought that you could hide that tiny little calculator under your legs, but that was a very dumb thought and decision. Sure, you could have gotten away with it but what would that have taught you? You don’t learn anything by cheating. How would you feel when you got that test back and saw that you got a 100% but only by cheating? You’ll feel guilty and that you didn't deserve that grade. Cheating is not worth losing the respect of your 4th grade teacher or showing your parents that you’re not trustworthy. You don’t want that one mistake to linger over your head for the rest of your life just because you were afraid of failing. I hope you take my advice into consideration when the mere thought of cheating pops into your little head. You are even aware that you have bad luck and that you can’t get away with most of the things that other kids can. Take that test, try as hard as you can to recall what you've learned, and accept the final grade that you get. You’ll end up with a big old ZERO as your grade anyways if you cheat. Be the strong, smart girl that you are and never think to cheat. Ever.

                                                            Love the old and wise,

                                                                           Alex Hatala